My Heart the Pendulum Swings for You


As we walk our path of life we experience much. Our reactions and processing of life’s challenges or experiences occurs in our mind and emotions; our heart.  Our emotional reactions and our discernment regarding what is actually going on, what is true or real and what to do about it, culminates in decisions.

I see now the human heart/soul can be considered like a pendulum on a clock.

Our processing, or discernment of the reality within events swings back and forth between sometimes polar issues. The emotions and reasoning culminate in decisions based on interpretations of reality. But are we clear, or accurate; is our discernment right?

The net result of the swings is action or in-action; a choice is made as the pendulum swings.  Our heart fluctuates during these moments requiring discernment or understanding. In the depth of our being our heart searches for what is true….

And it swings between:

truth & lies,

faith & fear, 

love & hate,

mercy & judgment , 

generosity & greed,

 honesty & deceit,

humility & pride, 

Tick Tock, Tick , Tock, Tick, Tock ;

Goes the rhythm of our heart the soul is our clock.

Yet as a believer my heart is fixed in Christ’s. Out of His Spirit flow my desires and intentions. But the decisions, behaviors, actions; my responses to the swings of my emotions and reason; the timing of my actions; is my responsibility; my choice. I must learn to align with his reality, not  my feelings or limited understanding.

I understand now as I grow in awareness the swinging of the ark of the pendulum is reducing;  The exposure to extremes , or over reactions; the imbalanced state of being is diminishing as I grow  to know and act in faith, hope and love.

Our integrity requires a balanced perspective and integration of intention and action in a positive forthright manner. A smooth transition from the negative into the positive poles of our being is important. Our behavior is driven by where and when we choose to act during the swinging pendulum that are our motivations and reactions; the movements of our hearts. 

We are required by the Spirit of Truth in Grace (that is the spirit of Jesus/Yeshua) within us to find the balance and choose wisely in our actions and the timing of them.

Otherwise we experience conviction or loss. The Spirit is the correcting mechanisms of the clock. His spirit sets the limits for our swings by his power resident in us.  It seems life or death is the only choice set before me each day, each movement, each moment, each thought, I must choose which I will serve.

“Today I set before you life or death, blessings or the curse… choose life” Deuteronomy 30:18-20 .

The choice I make starts my emotional/psychological  swing back; toward  Life or further into death. When I act from life, I am acting “in him”  and I will see “his glory”.(****)

If I act in faith, life, grace, truth and wisdom; from Christ in me- it brings rest; it brings life. Yet as St. Paul warns us in Romans, “what is not of faith is sin” (sin=dysfunction).  

If I act from my own understanding, habits, schemes, plans, self defenses or fears; whatever is not of truth, grace, peace- faith; brings death. No matter how good I might feel about my actions if it is not of Christ and His faith; it is death for me or others around me.

If I don’t wish to bring forth death I must choose His cross for my own desires, actions or behaviors. If they are “In Christ” they  bring life. Our choice is life or death; life in Christ or death to self at the cross of Christ. The alternative is a deeper swing into self-life=ultimately darkness and spiritual death.

Discerning between the two options of true life is the hard part.

Death to self is a messy, untidy, and painful process, but resurrection life always follows for those who know Christ.  So Jesus is my savior/life giver or judge/executioner and my heart must swing between life or death; resurrection life or the cross of Christ; that is death to self, but again in time it nets life in Christ!

Life or death;

tick tock,

tick tock;

tick tock;

goes my hearts clock…

The complication is others experience my swings and it can be uncomfortable for them; causing them to react.

When I bring forth the fruit of my process for examination before men and not Jesus alone people are prone to judge or try to fix me.

They want to adjust my pendulum to conform to what they see as appropriate movement, behavior or balance.  If we place people above the truth or realty of Christ we make them Idols.

If we fear people’s opinions more than the Lord we are worshiping them and not him. For one worships and serves what they fear. 

We can be judged for the very nails that keep our freshly reactions fixed on our own cross by our own brethren. People may forget every clock ticks and functions differently. Each time piece is made first to serve it’s maker and owner; secondly for those who observe it’s action or movements.

Rabbi Shaul (St. Pual) said “to me it is a very small thing if I am examined by you our or any human court…as a matter of fact I do not even examine my self…the one who examines me is the Lord …so do not go on passing judgment but wait for the Lord

St. Paul seems not let anyone, not even himself, tinker with the mechanism of his heart. He was about living and being in Christ, not introspection or self-examination.  Now that is liberty and submission to God the master clock maker.

That is “guarding your heart…for from it flow the issue of life”

I find now this required choice of life and death frequently. The Pendulum that is my heart/soul; my time is kept by the swings from life in Christ to death on the cross of Christ. The more fluid and accurate, timely or succinctly, that movement is made the more integral, effective and accurate is my life to keep time with God’s life; The more finely tuned a mechanism becomes the fewer and less frequent the adjustments are necessary.

If I let others to closely into my heart to tinker with it inappropriately it disrupts the time and keeps me from moving forward effectively. o reduce their reactions it behooves me to presume and communicate to others that I believe they are positive forces not negative ones.

For that honors their good intentions even if they have missed God’s timing or wisdom; the Lord’s is real and present in them even if I do not appreciate our understand their efforts to balance my movements. Sometimes it is Christ himself moving and motivating their actions. He is in His perfect time and will making adjustments or balancing my our behaviors to coordinate actions with others.  We are to be “submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God”Ephesians 5:20-22  for that causes unity in the body of Christ.

Finally; I see my actions, communications and intentions must be a result of effectively smooth and accurate movements of my heart; in Gods time. For my heart is the perpetual motion mechanism of my life.

 It is the engine of my behaviors and actions and it should be carefully and precisely maintained. For the net result of its fluctuation determines my integration with life or death; crucifixion or resurrection; for myself and others about me.

My life and health and my walk in truth and grace is summed up by the tick tock of my hearts clock and the workings of the great watchmaker. He plans this to be what keeps me in time with him eternally. It is he alone that knows how to adjust the mechanism to keep me synchronized with the most important clock in the universe; the heart and mind of Christ.

We can remain confident and at peace for the time-keeper, that very mechanism of grace and truth is actually resident in our own person by faith in Messiah Yeshua (Jesus the Christ).

*Healing ADD by Dr. Amen
**Emotionally Healthy Spirituality” by Scazzero
***The rest of the Gospel  (When the partial gospel has worn you out) by Dan Stone and David Gregory.
****;Ephesians 5:25-27; Hebrews 6:3-5;Acts 17:28
From Journal entry 1.17.2012; revised 1.18.12;1.19.12,10.10.15,2.2.2018;200622;12.28.2022:2.16.2023
william mark parry © 1.20.12

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